Blades

1.

He seduces me with his feet. Covered in the black leather of skates, they sashay seductively across the ice, leaving the remnants of his performance engraved behind him.

Moves-in-the field is the name given to the elements of figure skating that involve edgework and step patterns. Figure skaters connect their jumps and spins with evocative combinations of these patterns. Musical cues indicate the beginning of a footwork sequence.

Alexei is the best. The smooth music has faded and there is a brief moment as the musical theme changes to something fast-paced and epic. Urgent. He begins at one end of the rink, breathing in deeply and exhaling as he raises his arms to prepare for his elaborate choreography.

His body thrusts forward. His feet move rapidly, immersed in the momentum so that he looks as if he’s spinning. The movements are fluid and jarring at the same time, and suddenly he is at the other end of the rink and the audience is left wondering what just happened. He swoops back towards the middle of the ice for another round of jumps and spins.

2.

When I watch ice-skating, I don’t enjoy seeing the jumps. Until the skater lands without flaw, I fear for him, expecting a fall. I hold my breath when he leaves the safety of the ice. Sometimes, I forget to let it go while everyone else enthusiastically cheers.

It is easier to look away.

3.

Alexei Yagudin first started skating in 1984 at a rink in his hometown of St. Petersburg. He was four and a half.

It was 1999 when I first started skating. In the 1998-99 season, Alexei Yagudin “dominat[ed] the men’s events by winning nine of the 11 events he entered.” He was busy becoming the World Champion and a contender for the 2002 Olympic Gold when I, a decade younger than his 19 years, first stepped out onto the ice at a friend’s birthday party.

4.

There are various ways to pursue skating, only one of which is figure skating. I soon learned about the competitive sport of synchronized skating. I was 10 and just barely skating when I joined the Flames. I had a team depending on me, so I sped through the introductory group lessons, and then switched to private lessons.

Skaters must pass progressively difficult Moves-in-the-Field tests in order to qualify for competitions. The tests are essential for synchronized skating teams because each skater must be adept in a variety of disciplines. In synchronized skating, jumps and spins become the backdrop for elaborate geometric formations and wheels. It’s all about feet moving as one. Since we were a young team, we had very little jumps and spins in our program. My lessons included a lot of Moves-in-the-Field.

Within my first year, I was thrust into a world of stage make-up, glitter gel, and embellished costumes. I spent fifth grade focusing not on my schoolwork, but rather on ballet and posture. I had A Chorus Line’s “One” stuck in my head throughout the year, performing the routine mentally while my teacher spoke passionately about sedimentary rocks.

My first competition took place in Cape Cod, Massachusetts and we got second place. All I remember from that trip was the detour to see Plymouth Rock and that the team that beat us skated to the Indiana Jones theme song. The judges said that we would’ve won if we had three more girls on our team.

5.

Ice-skating is never silent. A good edge sounds like the first step onto snow, hardened by the nighttime cold. If you’re skating silently, you’re doing it wrong.

6.

The Flames fell through after only a year, and I moved to a different ice-rink in Northwestern Baltimore for synchronized skating. This team was lax, not as competitive, and I finally had the time to slow down from Moves-in-the-Field. I kept my coach at the other rink and we began working on the jumps and spins I’d been avoiding. That branch of skating is called Freestyle.

7.

As predicted by many, Alexei won the Olympic gold medal in 2002, representing his home country of Russia. He was placed first by all judges after his short program, a performance of 2 minutes and 45 seconds to “Wintersun” by Bond, a string quartet that specializes in classical-crossover.

Alexei’s long program was to the theme from the 1998 movie “The Man in the Iron Mask.” All of the judges placed him in first once again. He scored four 6.0s for presentation, becoming the first man to receive multiple perfect scores in the history of the Olympics.

I have both of these programs saved as favorites on my YouTube. Once he finishes his long program, he falls to his knees, and places his lips to the ice. He waits for his scores in the “Kiss and Cry,” his chest heaving from exertion and already crying. It takes a minute and 39 seconds before his scores come up and he realizes he’s won the Gold. In that time he weeps, covering his face with his hand and curling around himself momentarily before regaining composure. But then he is standing despite his tears and waving to the audience whose cheers have risen in volume.

8.

Skaters learn the axel jump, which is 1.5 revolutions around, in Freestyle 5, and it can take years for skaters to master. First, you practice on the floor in your shoes. Then, you do it on the ice with the aid of a harness to stop you from falling if you’re lucky. At the summer camps in Western Maryland, the counselors would sometimes let us play around with the harness, strapping us in and then lifting us up to fly. I could do anything when I had the jump harness keeping me safe.

After a few years on the younger team in Baltimore, the synchronized skating coach realized my Moves skills qualified me for the Senior team and encouraged me to move up. The older team met at the same time as my other lessons, so I had to find a new coach in Baltimore. I had passed Freestyle 4 by this point, and was learning the spins from Freestyle 5.

I hadn’t started learning the axel and Baltimore had no jump harness. It was a tacit rule on the Senior team that that all members were required to have completed their axels. I spent years learning Moves so I could feel like a valuable team member, but I never learned my axel. I was also the youngest on the team.

I didn’t belong there.

9.

I’ve always wanted to do my spiral as high as Michelle Kwan’s.

10.

I passed Pre-preliminary, preliminary, pre-juvenile, and juvenile fairly easily. But I spent a year and half trying to master Intermediate. When people think of brackets, they think of these: [ ]. When I think of brackets, I think of these: { }. I spent a year and a half of my life trying to get my feet to carve the perfect bracket pattern on the ice.

11.

We skated to a military-themed techno song. It began with a march. We formed a circle and we were all supposed to perform bracket footwork. I could never tell if it was me who stumbled or the girl to my right.

12.

The Olympic sized rink is generally 30 m by 60 m, but size doesn’t really matter. The rink seemed to converge on me whenever I felt anxious. I almost ran into the wall when taking my Intermediate test – bracket sequence. I had three judges scrutinizing every shift in the pattern and hearing every sound I made – or didn’t make.

I also didn’t pass.

13.

Artificial ice-rinks are only about 2-3 centimeters of ice with layers of water, paint, and concrete underneath. I’ve never been pond skating, so I’ve never had to worry about the ice breaking beneath my feet.

14.

Alexei Yagudin retired from the world of competitive figure skating in 2003 after a hip injury.

15.

Over 5,000 years ago the Finns fashioned the first ice skates from the leg bones of horses, oxen, or deer. My skates are buried in a dark corner of my parents’ basement. They might as well be bones.

Written in 2012 as a Creative NonFiction assignment

#iceskating #alexeiyagudin